Words from the writer. . .

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Friday, July 31, 2009

Life Downhill

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Today has been a very emotionless, plain, gloomy day for me. The weather hasn't been cooperating, which hasn't been of great help to how I've been feeling. One thing I do know is that I'm happy to be alive, everything happens for a reason. I wish everything, every aspect of my life were different. I'll be happier. I feel like everything has gone downhill and that it isn't getting any better. When is GOD going to give me a break? I haven't received one.
Thursday, July 30, 2009

Crying

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Crying soothes my soul. It reminds me that I am human and that I have feelings. I hurt. I suffer. The anger I feel, the frustration I feel, the love I feel, the hatred I feel, the pain I feel all has accumulated into a sea of sorrow deep inside of me, bringing tears to the windows of my soul: my eyes.

Crying is what I am feeling right now. .

Life and Love

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Love is bothering me because you have to deal with a lot of bullshit. Love is filled with everything, love is filled even with the things that you don't like. Love, it is filled with lies, it is filled with hurt, it is filled with beauty. It is filled with everything you can imagine. We have to prepare ourselves for love: we are prepared for it and simultaneously we are not. Human individuals are too immature for love due to so many aspects of life being automatically involved such as feelings, thoughts, and emotions. It is inevitable because nothing is perfect. Sometimes I wish love were perfect, sometimes I wish life was perfect. Love is a beautiful thing, a beautiful gift, but it hurts sooo much. It makes people not want to get involved with it. Either way, we as the human individuals that we are, seek love. Love is life, love is part of life. I hate it, I hate it!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Washful Tears

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In tears. I can't contain my feelings especially not my heart.

Suffering in Silence

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My heart is hurt, my heart is crying, my heart is breaking apart.

I Don't Get It. .

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Oh Lord, what did I do to deserve all this crap I'm going through? I don't feel well, my heart is hurting, please stay with me. Guide me towards the right direction. I wish I can disappear and be alone in peace. Thank you for making me such a strong person, thank you for blessing me with the knowledge, wisdom, and understanding of why life is the way it is. Thank you for the gift of understanding you have given me, therefore allowing me the strength to understand why people do the things they do and the things they say. God, life is very ironic.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Feeling of Vexation

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Annoyance, vexation, bothered: I hate this feeling. It's one of the worse feelings I have to experienced. Feeling bothered, feeling annoyed, having that "Leave me alone, I don't care" feeling makes me want to get away from everyone and have that sense of peace and quiet. It's just one of those days when you want to be alone and not talk to anyone. Just breathing. . .
Thursday, July 16, 2009

Be Free

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Going with the flow is the way to live. There is a difference between going with the flow and loving love versus going with the flow and being passive and lazy. Going with the flow & appreciating life and the beauty in little things is the way to live. Modesty and humbleness. Sweetness and kindness as well as fighting for your beliefs and believing in your dreams. Appreciating life with a strong attitude. Rolling with the punches and appreciating life for how it is, is how I view life. There isn't time for crap and being upset|sad|angry or whatever the case may be. That's my attitude, but sometimes I get caught up and blinded with the "obstacles" and situations life throws at me that I sometimes forget to just be happy that I am alive and well. I could be in worst dilemmas in my life like many people in this world. There is beauty in everything! My boyfriend is a beautiful inspiration in my life, he has reminded me to just be happy no matter how difficult or harsh live may be. That's me, it's my motto, my attitude, I forget. He's right! He reminds me of happiness, he is my happiness. Time is precious. There's no time to waste on being upset with a miserable demeanor. I sit and think and realize wow this is not me at all, why am I acting this way? Why am I feeling unhappy? I am not feeling happy with some aspects of my life, but I am happy that I have a family, a home, beautiful friends, amazing partner. These are the things that make life worthwhile. If I'm not feeling happy, I have to and I am going to do something about it. Don't get me wrong, I try and try and try and not see rewards or results, but I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE UP! Never! Freedom and beauty is a gift from God. We're here because of him. Everything happens for a reason. Being free is so beautiful, feeling relaxed, feeling serene, feeling celestial at peace is one of the many great gifts God has given us. A glimpse of heaven is to be free. Liberating! Life is beautiful, life is temporary, we're only here for a little while. Make the best of it. Love life and make wise decisions. Think with your ♡, feel with your ♡. I am going to be a successful person, I have lots of love and passion in my fiery soul! I know that I'll be where I wanna be very soon and I cannot wait for that day! BE FREE, don't forget to be happy today. Be happy to be here today and that you're alive and well. Be thankful for all that's around you and all that you have. Imagine, some people wish to possess the things you and I have. Sadly, most of us don't appreciate the things we cherish until they are gone. Don't allow it to be that way, always enjoy the present. Always. Are you happy today? Ask yourselves. Xoxo <3
Monday, July 13, 2009

Peculiar Life Is..

Posted in by Rafaelina Siri | Edit
Sometimes I don't get life and how it functions. Well, actually I do know how it works, it's just so complicated. That's the word. If you think about it, it's not as complicated as it seems, it fact, it's as simple as 1, 2, 3. Sometimes I don't know what to think of it or what to say in certain scenarios. You try and try your best, but somehow you don't succeed and your ideas don't go as planned. Life is weird, life is strange, life is complex, life is challenging!
Saturday, July 11, 2009

R.I.P. Michael Jackson: The Legend

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The King of Pop August 25, 1958-June 25, 2009 The King of Pop dies at 50 years old! I couldn't believe what I had heard, he was such an amazing INSPIRATION to all of us! Not to sound cliche, I felt really sad and down about it. I was hanging out in Soho with some friends and a girl asked us if it was true if Michael Jackson had died, that's how I found out about his tragic death. At first, I thought it was a hoax, but then I thought this cannot be a joke, nobody would play a joke like that. I cried. He was a great man, as far as his music goes. Throughout his whole career, the media and people kept on bashing him and calling him weird. Like let the man live, he was a very private, introvert man, what's wrong with that? And now that he has passed away, everyone wants to listen to his records and say nice things. People are still bashing him now, let the man rest in peace. Is no wonder that he might have been addicted to prescription medicine, he had a rough childhood, not that thats an excuse for him to act the way he did. He wasn't different, he just did things in a different style than the "norm" way that others would, so because he did things differently, he was called weird? Give me a break! I thought uniqueness and individuality was a good thing. This is why he perhaps escaped from the criticism and judgmental world in his privacy, his Neverland ranch, and whatever else he used as an escape. So sad that he wasn't understood, that is all he wanted, to be understood!! It's like you're screaming but nobody hears you! It's a cruel, cruel world out there, it takes a toll on people especially when you are alone and have no one supporting you. Everyone wants to be understood! Is that so much to ask? Poor Michael! How would you feel if no one understood you as a person and your perspective? The media was trying to bash him and tried to make him look like a psycho child molester. HATERS!! So much envy and hate in wanting to bring Michael down because he wasn't conforming to society and how they think people are suppose to be like. So wrong. He was and will always be a great man, THE LEGEND that he is. His music is beyond wonderful! Love you Mike. Regardless of it all, I still like Michael! Michael is one of my favorite names. A List of Records I Like (in random order): -Beat It -You Rock My World -Dirty Diana -Thriller -Bad -Smooth Criminal -Billie Jean -Heal The World -Will You Be There? -You Are Not Alone (My Fav) amongst others.... REST IN PEACE MICHAEL!

What is LOVE?

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Love is my favorite topic to speak and write about. It's universal and beautiful! My absolute most preferred quote about love is from the Bible, it goes like this: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I though like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but poor refelection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love" ~1 Corinthians 13:4-13 Love makes the world go 'round. It is a beautiful, surreal feeling that nobody is quite ready to face in life, but it is something we all yearn for and it is something we all desire to have to completely satisfy our happiness to its fullest potential. Love is a gift from GOD. I never knew I could be so happy, I never knew I'd be so secure and so in love because of his love, life has a brand new meaning. It's gonna be a brighter day. I love how weird me and him are. I may complain at timea and think, but that's us, it's life. I'M YOUR EVERYTHING, YOU'RE MY EVERYTHING! When two people love each other, they are each other everything, no matter what! Ride or die 'till the end of time. We get each other, we are different yet similar at the same time. We compliment each other very well. Nobody understands, i LOVE us. Anthony Damiani and Rafaelina Siri One of my quotes is: "I will serenade you, take you to the depths of my soul, show you what is real" ~Rafaelina Siri I'm glad that I have geniune feelings and that I feel, reminds me that I am human. Love is such a magical feeling, the best feeling a human being could ever experience. It makes the world a better place, it makes people greater, filled with happiness. I love being in love and being loved in return by the greatest person I know, Our love is oure and sincere, He's my soulmate, the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with. That is something I know for sure, as he too knows. GOD has blessed me with his love and companionship, we love one other! And this is something that will never, ever change. Love is endless, love is GOD, love can't be described. It's an immense feeling you feel for someone else! I thank GOD everyday for creating this beauty. I am a true hopeless romantic. Love keeps me going as the days go by, my ultimate inspiration. He is my ultimate inspiration, when you know that someone is meant for you, you'll know!!! There are times I still can't believe I have found someone worthwhile, my soulmate. It's so magical and surreal. I remember when I would always pray to God about love. As a child, I would always wonder where my soulmate lived. California? Japan? I would always wonder what he was up to and who he was. Strangely, I was never the kind of little girl to plan her wedding and her children's names. I never sat down and planned it. Of course, I thought of it, but it never occurred to me. I have been hurt by love, just like everyone else, heck I almost gave up on it. There were times when I even thought that love wasn't meant or made for me, as much as I tried to make myself believe that, I just couldn't. For I knew that it was going to find me. LOVE FINDS YOU UNEXPECTEDLY, EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T WANT IT TO FIND YOU.