I Feel So Blah Right Now, Like This Big Disgust In My Gut, It's Disturbing And It's Aggravating Me. I Don't Know What It Is, I Guess It's All These Disappointments And Frustrations Are Finally Catching Up To Me,aYou Know Since I Tend To Bottle Everything Up, The Only Thing I Express Myself To Is, Guess What? MY JOURNAL. That Is The Only Person, You Call It, That I Express My Innermost Feelings To. Ever Since I Was A Kid, I've Had A Problem With Expressing Myself To Other People Because I Have A Hard Time Trusting People And Opening Myself Up & Letting Them In. Why? I Guess Because I Don't Like To Get My Feelings Hurt, I've Always Been Afraid of That. As The Years Went By, I Knew I Couldn't Be That Quiet Little "Tall" Girl All My Life, I Realized, In This Life You Have To Take Risks And Those Risks Include Feelings, I Knew I Was Meant To Be Something Big In Life.
I Used To Always Be That Tall Girl With The Big Feet,Curly Hair & Big Lips- I Used To Get Teased For It And Yeah It Made Me Feel Very Unpretty And Unwanted, I Guess Because I Dealt With It, I Didn't Stand Up For Myself. It Came To A Point Where I Just Wouldn't Tolerate It Anymore, It Affected My Self-Esteem And So I Just Didn't Care About Anyone's Feelings, But Mines And This Is When My True Self Began To Finally Show.
I've Always Been Myself, It Just Takes A Little Push To Come Out Of Your Shell. Why Am I Saying This? Ehh Because I Feel Like It. Isn't It Great To Just Say What You Feel? Well, Right Now I Just Feel Blah, Like If The Things, The Things I Want In Life Aren't Setting At This Point. It's Frustrating When Things Don't Come As Fast As You Would Like Them To Come, I Wish, But Don't We All? Everything Takes Time, I Guess, But Patience Isn't One Of My Best Qualities, But Throughout My Past Experiences, I've Learned To Become More Patient And Trust Me, It Feels Hella Good. I've Grown To Learn That Some Things You Can't Reach For, They Just Come To You, It's More Beautiful That Way. I'm Waiting For A Lot Of Things, But When Is God Going To Give Me A Break, When!? Every Time Something Goes Nice And Smooth, It's Gone In A Blink Of An Eye.
In General, With My Family, With Friends, With Love, With Everything. It Just Sucks Sometimes, But Hey Everything Happens For A Reason And Hope Is Something I Still Hold Onto Me. Don't Get Me Wrong, I've Met Many Wonderful People Whom I Truly Love & Care For, New Ones & Old Ones, They're Just Great, I Hold Onto Them Like Music On An Ipod, Haha, What Kind Of Analogy Is That? Yeahh, But You Get The Point, Right? Sometimes, You Just Gotta Go With The Flow And Allow Things To Come Your Way, Let Destiny Run Its Course.
God Has My Back, He Knows What He's Doing And I Trust That He's Going To Send Me Beautiful Things In Life, I Can't Wait To See What They Are. In The Meanwhile, I'm Living In The Present, No Looking In The Past, Living For The Future.I Treat Myself With Dignity And Respect,I'm A Bit Traditional When It Comes To Certain Things. Life Is Way Too Short, As Clique As It Sounds, The Saying Is True, But I Live My Life Wisely.There's No Time To Hold Onto Grudges, There's No Time To Be Arguing And Fighting With The People Whom You Love, There's No Time For None Of Those Things Because In The Long Run These Things Make You An Unhappy Person, Leaving No Room For Happiness.
Happiness Is What We All Aim For, Don't You Think? Even Though 19 Years Is A Long Time, In A Sense It's Not That Long, But Experiences Make You Seem Older Because You're Wiser, That's What I Am. I've Been Through Many Many Things, Things That People Wouldn't Or Couldn't Imagine. It's Not Like I'm Going To Flaunt Them And Put On Youtube Or Myspace, But I Hold Onto Everything That Has Occurred In My Life Dearly In Becoming A Better Person. I Live My Life The Way I Am And I'm Happy To Be Who I Am, Sweet And Goofy Amongst Other Qualities :D
I Can't Wait To See What The Future Has In Stores For Me, May It Be Wonderful In Life In General, With My Loved Ones & Having My Dream Vacation In My Paradise Mexico Relaxing With My Books, Etc..
You've Gonna See Me Guys, On Tv, On Magazine Covers, Writing Books, In Movies, And All That Good Stuff. God Is Going To Give Me That Break, I See It.
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