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Friday, April 23, 2010
Nothing is Something
Looking at my purple marker and notebook paper realizing that I have so much to say, yet I can't say anything at all. I hear scribbles and scribbles from my marker to my paper, scribbles and scribbles yet something comes out, nothing. Nothing is something because it somehow exists, somehow nothing is something. Look at what I am saying, what I am transferring, IT'S SOMETHING!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
formspring.me
The world is yours, ask away ! http://formspring.me/idyllicALLURE
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The Island of Manhattan - SUCH THRILL
Manhattan is a beautiful place to coexist in with the many people that reside in it. It is a world where AMAZING things happen and where our dreams are a open door, one footstep away.
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Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Your fate being decided by a jury?
Personally, I wouldn't want a jury to choose my fate for whatever reason, if ever, I end up in a trial. This country is weird, so much for democracy, I mean most people that exist don't have a sufficient enough neutral mind to even choose a decision on someone's fate. It makes no sense, really. The people of the jury can be so many things, let's say, like SHALLOWWWW ! Most humans aren't deep enough to have the capability to decipher what's in front of them, let alone choose someone's fate. The outcome of someone's life in the hands of people ? Who are we to judge anyway? We're nobody.
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Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Last night..
As I was laying on my bed in the pure dark last night, I had my pretty bright flashlight towards the ceiling. I noticed the particles that float in the air that's invisible to the naked eye. There are so many things that are invisible to the naked eye. The particles were flowing beautifully vertically, wowww was what I thought. If only I could've taken a picture of it. It looked like magical sparkles in the air, there were just there staring back at me while I thought and thought. The story of my last night..
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
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Wednesday, January 20, 2010
My Lungs Need To Breathe Right Away Before I Drown
I don't know when life is going to feel any easier or be any easier. At this point in my life, I
am more alone than ever and I really don't mind it in a way and in a way I do.. Nobody understands anyway, I drown, choke, and suffocate on my own words and thoughts. I dislike many aspects of the many people that surround me, it sickens me and that just makes me think I'm internally going to be alone no matter what for the rest of my life. Why? Because nobody truly takes the time to conversate and understand how I feel about life, they just wanna throw themselves like jumping in a pool without testing the waters. Nobody takes the time to truly feel someone's insides and understand them completely, I mean literally. I'm not a big fan of trusting people with my emotions at all, not even the members of my family. Why? Mostly because I sense people's vibes and aura and if I don't feel you're being geniune in all shape and form expect me not to act like I care.
Somehow, I come across as a big jerk because I stay true to the way I feel. I guess my coldness just says it all and somehow no matter how much I love and care for the ones I truly do love- I cannot come to show it. Why? Because I don't like to be smothered, showing love, affection and that you care is not something you ask and ask and ask- it has to flow naturally. That's just how human
nature works, that's how I work. I mean I do show it, but not when it's requested. I do it on
my own. I don't like clingyness, it disgusts me. I'll admit that at some points in my life I
acted clingy, just thinking about it makes me sick. I cannot come to describe that part of me,
that jerk side. The moral of the story is: BEING GENIUNE AND TRULY UNDERSTANDING.
I am very in touch with my emotions and at the same time I'm one dry bitch. I'm a walking
contradiction. I just want a friend that truly takes their time to understand and connect with
me. It feels lonely when nobody gets it and acts like they get it. Nobody takes the time to
at all whatsoever, it's as if all these people around me are afraid of conversating. I can
honestly say that I have not connected with anyone in my family or any of my friends in the
way that I would like to, tho I have, but not in that intense "WOW" way. There's only one
person that really understands and luckily I've found another friend of mines that has a
unique mind the way I do and it's great. My attitude is an I don't care attitude, I just want to
be understood for how I feel about life, my perspective, for all the passion I feel inside, and
mostly to be understood of this mind I have and TRULYJUST LIVE AND BE ALIVE AND FEEL!
You can say it feels crazy and overwhelmed with so many things that do not leave me alone,
like someone constantly poking me. I just wanna sit in this indie lounge in Williamsburg,
Brooklyn that I really like. I'll sit there with a book or my journal, lying on the hammock while
listening to live serene music with candles all around. That place felt like home to me, I
would want to be there with people that understand my mind, this crazy imaginative mind of mine and I'll be happy ! Who wants to give me a mountain to scream from the top of my lungs? I can't breathe anymore!!
Now that these words I just wrote are replaying in my mind, another epiphany has striked me!
I've had so many epiphanies, I lost count. What if all the geniune I seek in people is something that portrays itself to be something I don't possess with the coldness I sent out to the world? What if my coldness is backfiring on me and is causing this aloneness that I feel? What if I act more loving towards others, the geniune in me would show the more? Everyone needs love, love makes the world go 'round. From now on, I'm going to act more loving because 99.9% of the time, actions speaks VOLUMES and wow I haven't been practicing what I preach. There needs to be a balance, I've found it! Seems like I've brung this upon myself with my attitude. Another slap of reality in my face.
am more alone than ever and I really don't mind it in a way and in a way I do.. Nobody understands anyway, I drown, choke, and suffocate on my own words and thoughts. I dislike many aspects of the many people that surround me, it sickens me and that just makes me think I'm internally going to be alone no matter what for the rest of my life. Why? Because nobody truly takes the time to conversate and understand how I feel about life, they just wanna throw themselves like jumping in a pool without testing the waters. Nobody takes the time to truly feel someone's insides and understand them completely, I mean literally. I'm not a big fan of trusting people with my emotions at all, not even the members of my family. Why? Mostly because I sense people's vibes and aura and if I don't feel you're being geniune in all shape and form expect me not to act like I care.
Somehow, I come across as a big jerk because I stay true to the way I feel. I guess my coldness just says it all and somehow no matter how much I love and care for the ones I truly do love- I cannot come to show it. Why? Because I don't like to be smothered, showing love, affection and that you care is not something you ask and ask and ask- it has to flow naturally. That's just how human
nature works, that's how I work. I mean I do show it, but not when it's requested. I do it on
my own. I don't like clingyness, it disgusts me. I'll admit that at some points in my life I
acted clingy, just thinking about it makes me sick. I cannot come to describe that part of me,
that jerk side. The moral of the story is: BEING GENIUNE AND TRULY UNDERSTANDING.
I am very in touch with my emotions and at the same time I'm one dry bitch. I'm a walking
contradiction. I just want a friend that truly takes their time to understand and connect with
me. It feels lonely when nobody gets it and acts like they get it. Nobody takes the time to
at all whatsoever, it's as if all these people around me are afraid of conversating. I can
honestly say that I have not connected with anyone in my family or any of my friends in the
way that I would like to, tho I have, but not in that intense "WOW" way. There's only one
person that really understands and luckily I've found another friend of mines that has a
unique mind the way I do and it's great. My attitude is an I don't care attitude, I just want to
be understood for how I feel about life, my perspective, for all the passion I feel inside, and
mostly to be understood of this mind I have and TRULYJUST LIVE AND BE ALIVE AND FEEL!
You can say it feels crazy and overwhelmed with so many things that do not leave me alone,
like someone constantly poking me. I just wanna sit in this indie lounge in Williamsburg,
Brooklyn that I really like. I'll sit there with a book or my journal, lying on the hammock while
listening to live serene music with candles all around. That place felt like home to me, I
would want to be there with people that understand my mind, this crazy imaginative mind of mine and I'll be happy ! Who wants to give me a mountain to scream from the top of my lungs? I can't breathe anymore!!
Now that these words I just wrote are replaying in my mind, another epiphany has striked me!
I've had so many epiphanies, I lost count. What if all the geniune I seek in people is something that portrays itself to be something I don't possess with the coldness I sent out to the world? What if my coldness is backfiring on me and is causing this aloneness that I feel? What if I act more loving towards others, the geniune in me would show the more? Everyone needs love, love makes the world go 'round. From now on, I'm going to act more loving because 99.9% of the time, actions speaks VOLUMES and wow I haven't been practicing what I preach. There needs to be a balance, I've found it! Seems like I've brung this upon myself with my attitude. Another slap of reality in my face.
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Saturday, November 7, 2009
Taurid Meteor Shower
Finally my shooting star has arrived!!!! I'm excited. The Taurid Meteor Shower started on the 4th of November, it's going to continue throughout the week and it is going to be intense around midnight tonight. I'll make sure to look up this time and finally, hopefully get to see the show of flying stars that I've been longing to see since June 2008. I hope GOD grants me this wish. Thank you to V for informing me.
Everyone that "knows" me, knows how infatuated I am with the sky and all of its counterparts. Maybe I'm an alien from Mars, somewhere in the galaxy. It amazes me each and every time, it's like they speak to me through its own language. The sky delivers me peace of mind and serenity, it's attached to me like a baby is to its mother. It's a part of me, I love it.
Can't wait to see my star!
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