Words from the writer. . .

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Tuesday, December 19, 2006

The Bridgemaker

Posted in by Rafaelina Siri | Edit
"Writing,This Is What Came Out....Feel Free To Read....Thanks. <3 ~Lina. The Bridge Maker When I'm lost Somewhere in my thoughts, Deep within my lonliness, Or deep within confusion, You take my hand  Draw me forth, And cast away illusion. You gather the pieces of this heart And mend them back together. You bring me joy, And disperse my fears, But, now it's my turn, to dry your tears. So let me build the bridges Across the valleys to come, Then let me help you cross them, And continue when we're done. I want to be the bridgemaker The one who's always there, The one that always lifts you up, The one you know will care.
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Wednesday, November 29, 2006

I'm Thankful....

Posted in by Rafaelina Siri | Edit
Tomorrow Is Thanksgiving As We Know It....I'm Going To Eat Eat && Eat Some More.....It's Nothing New For Me.  I'm Thankful For Lots Of Things.... I'm Sooo Happy To Be Alive ..Thanks To God!!! As I Type This...I Hope I Live Many Many Yearsss To Come.......So Appreciative Of That.... I'm Thankful For My Twin Sister Julianna: Words Cannot Describe How I Much I Love Her More Than She Will Ever Know.....We Have An Unexplainable Bond......She Keeps Me Sane!! I Think I Would've Been Lost Without Her..Seriously!! She Motivates Me So Much....She Gives Me Strength....To Be Honest If It Weren't For Her I Think I Would've Been Dead!! I'm Thankful For My Family As Well.....I Hate Them Sometimes But They Will Always Be Related To Me!! They Are Always There For Me...I'm Glad To Have My Parents Mercedes && Rafael Alive.Well && Married To Love && Support Me As Their Daughter...Thanks For Putting Food On The Table Thanks For Dealing With All My Bullshitt And Supporting Me!!!!! Thanks For All The Christmas Presents && All The Conversations And Advice You Both Have Given Me..Thanks For Being My Parents!! I'm Thankful For My Brother Julio I Have To Thank Him For Many Things For Everything For The Way Our Family's Life Is....For The People I Now Know && Love So Much!! I'm Thankful For My Aunts Cecilia && Nena-----They Keep Me Entertained I Feel Like Shooting Them At Times But They Are So Great!!! They Love And Care About Me Even If When They Don't Show It...Thanks To My Family!!!!! I'm Thankful For My Grandparents Tomasina && Julio........May You Rest In Peace Both....I Haven't Forgotten About You Guys At All Not One Bit!! You Are What I Call .. TRUE LOVE 'TILL DEATH DO US PART.. ..I Loveeeeeeee Youuuu Both Forever && Ever Until God Takes Me To Be With You Once Again!! I Wish You Guys Were Here So I Can Hug You Both && Say How Muchhh I Loveeeee Youuuuu Until I'm Outt Of Breath...So I Can Kiss Your Faces And Hug You Until I Can't Anymore!! So You Guys Can Remind Me Of How Beautiful I Am Everyday When I Feel Sad Or Down Or Unpretty. So You Guys Can Tuck Me Into Bed && Take Me Out To The Park For Ice-Cream....Words Can't Really Explain At All How Much I Feel For You Both!!! May God Rest Your Souls....May You Both Be Happy Loving Each Other In Heaven.....I Hope You Guys Haven't Forgotten About Your Granddaughter.....I Hope You Guys Love Me As Much As I Love You........I Know You're Watching Over Me!! Muahzzzzzzzzzzz Forever!!! THANKS TO CAMERAS.WATER.FRIDGES.TOILETS.FOOD.PERFUMES.LOVE.INTERNET.MYSPACE-EVERYTHING!!!! I'm Thankful For My Friends!!  I Have So Many Individual Shoutouts To The People Below And More....Too Much To Say!!!  Imani.Sheila.Adolfo.Sammy.Sasha.Miguel.Cain.Ramoncito.Steph.GiGi.JGil.Niurka.Julia.....Everyone!! ::Adolfo:: I'm Glad You're My Bestestt Guy Friend....Who Would've Thought We Were Going To Become What We Are Now....Thanks For Always Keeping A Smile On My Face Whenever I Felt Crappy....Thanks For All The Corny Funny Lmao Conversations....All The Pictures...All Fights All The Wrestling All The Shut The Fuck Ups Lols Thanks For Letting Me Blow-Dry Your Hair!! You're The Greatest!!!!!Thanks For The Advice && The Many Many Conversations!! I Loveeee You Man!~! Thanks For Caring About Me..I'm Glad To Have Met You.  ::Sammy:: You're A Great Person....I Hated Your Guts Before But Who Would've Thought We Were Going To Become Cool..You Are What I Call A Beautiful Person...I Really Care About You....If Only You Can See The Inside It Will Be So Much Easier Amor.I'm Glad To Know You That You Exist....Thank You So Much For Giving Me Hope For Giving Me Faith For Giving Me Motivation For Giving Me That Sense Of Paradise...Thanks For Making Me Feel Like A Million Bucks For Making Me Smile When I Didn't Want To....Thanks For Saying That I'm Beautiful..Thanks For Being My Friend As Well As My Amor....Thanks For All The Laughs And Jokes....Thank You For The Hugs!!! But Most Importantly Thanks For Loving Me! You Make Me Feel Like The Best In The World At Times...Sorry For The Bad Things I've Ever Made You Feel....YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO ME! Muahzzzz God Bless You Always. && To Everyone Else.. HAPPPPYYYYY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!
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Sunday, November 5, 2006

Thoughtful Thinking...

Posted in by Rafaelina Siri | Edit
I Am In A Great Mood To Write Something In My Blog.I'm Here Sitting On My Computer Eating Some Cookies With Milk Just Thinking About Some Things.. I've Been Thinking About How Life Functions && How Hectic And Chaotic It Is To Live It... ::It's Frustrating:: But I Have To Life It Until The Days Of My Life Are Over For Good...It's Like Wow I Can Diminish Die And Disappear Any Minute Any Day Just Like That....You Know?? It's Something Some People Choose Not To Think About,But You Have To... We're Humans And We Sure As Hell Can't Last Forever Even Though I'll Love To But Think About Living Forever And Ever.....There Would Be No Point Of Living. You Will Be Filled With Boredom And There Wouldn't Be A Purpose...That's Why The World Is The Way It Is....That's Why There's Good And Evil..Ironically Evil Influences Good You're Probably Like Nooo They're The Total Opposite! Let's Start Off With MISTAKES!! People Make Mistakes It's A Great Part Of Life Because They Convert You Into More Of A Perfectionist Person...Almost Perfect...They Make You Better More Wise More Intellectual....All That. Life Has Its Ups And Downs.....Happy Moments And Sad Moments.....It's All Part Of The Plan...Some Things In Life Have To Be Let Go Of Especially The Certain Things That Hurt You Because The Only Person You're Hurting Is Yourself....You Will Not Reach The Maximum Happiness...You Have To Believe In Yourself With This Enormous Confidence And Optimism And Head Up High.....Think Of Hurtful Things As A Strengthner Or Energizer........Life Is Too Short!! Don't Let People Stomp On You And Make You Feel Below Them......Confidence And Independence Is Great!.....Depends On How You Use It. Love Is A Great Great Part Of Life.....It Makes You Feel Heavenly Very Celestial Like A Peaceful Kind Of Feeling As If Life Had No Problems And Everything Is Super Easy...I Believe That's The Only Glimpse Of Heaven We Will Ever Receive And Have A Peak Of....Even Though Love Can Be Painful And Hurtful It's A Risk You Have To Take.......Let Yourself Be Loved And Let Go Of Things In The Past Because They Will Make You Better And More Joyful Later On..... Be Yourself At All Times...Don't Try So Hard To Be Someone You're Not Just To Please Everyone Else......You're Going To Be So Unhappy! It May Sound Selfish But It's Really Not....Think About It. ::Remember Life Seems Complicated But Is Really Simple:: Everything Happens For A Reason!! There Are Reasons Why Life Is Life..God Has Put You Here On Earth For Specific Reasons...He Basically Planned You And I'm Not Leaving Until I've Done My Duty.....I Don't Want To Leave The People I Love And Care About...It's A Scary Thought To Think Of. It's Like What's Heaven Going To Be Like?? Is Everything Going To Be Like I've Grown Up To Know?? There's Nothing I Can Do But To Live And Live And Live.... Live For The Moment!! Follow Your Heart..Make Mistakes..Drama...Evil...Hatred...Jealousy...Pain...Love... We're Programmed To Feel And Do All These Things That Seem Awful But When You Really Think About They're Not.... ........Things Are Easily Felt If Only They Were Much More Simpler To Say......You Feel All These Thousands And Thousands Of Words Inside && It's Frustrating When You Aren't Understood...It's Like If Only People Can See The Inside.... ::Adios I Wanted To State This & Now I'm Satisified:: ~Rafaelina.
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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Everytime

Posted in by Rafaelina Siri | Edit
.:Everytime:. Something I Wrote In My Journal Last Week......Enjoy!! Everytime I See You, I Can't Help But Feel Inside, The Pleasure Of Beinq With You  And Not Havinq To Decide. My Lips Can't Help But Smile As I  Have You Here By My Side. Sometimes When I Don't See You, My Eyes Seem To Cry. My Body Yearns For Yours It  Makes Me Feel Protected  Sort Of Like A Ride, I Wanna Feel Safe  As You Kiss Me All The Time. We'll Become Better People, We Will Love and Grow. You Feel The Same Way I Do  I Know Because You Let It Show. Everytime We See One Another, We Both Let It Glow, Really Beautiful, Nice And Slow. ~Miss Crazy Beautiful~
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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Lack Of Appreciation

Posted in by Rafaelina Siri | Edit
I Decided To Say This.... It's Been Disturbinq Me.... It's Better To Say It Then Nothinq At All...Right?? First Of All...I'm Not Perfect..... I Have Said And Done Some Harshful Thinqs To One Friend That I Love And Care About Still....And Now What Do I Have?...Nothinq....Their Friendship Is Out The Door. I Know It Seems That I Have Come Across As Shallow And Immature And Confused And Whatnot...But I'm Really Not.... I Admit My Mistakes And Wronqdoinqs Because It's The Right Thinq To Do Always.....I'm Still The Same Sweet Person But I Don't Think They See That....Hey I Can't Blame Them....I'm Not An Asshole I Swear I'm Not...What A Great Friend This Person Was...Always There For Me And I Blew It.... I Say Mean Thinqs Out Of Pure Anger.....I Feel Like A Monster For All That I Said And Done..... This Person Sad Some Horrible Things To Me Like Wowwww I Can't Believe This Is Cominq Out Of Their Mouth Even Though I Was Wrong They Should've Never Said That....Two Wronqs Don't Make A Right. I Am Determined Tho To Get Their Forgiveness One Day But I Also Know That Forgiving Is A Very Difficult Thing To Do....Since It Involves Feelings And I Really Did Hurt This Person's Feelinqs....This Has Been On My Mind For A Very Long Time Now.People Make Mistakes People Can Change For The Better And Really Learn From Them Seriously.... I Know I Have Learned. And This One Other Person That Was Great.. That I've Been Through Crap And Drama With....But When I Think About It....It Should've Never Went The Way It Did....Words And Actions Were Thrown Back And Forth Which Of Course Didn't Make The Situation Any Better At All Whatsoever...The Thinqs They Did Were Misunderstood By Me And The Things I Did Were Misunderstood To Them....All I Have Are Good Times Recorded In My Mind And The Bad Too But Those Things I've Let Go Of Already....I Would've Loved For Everythinq To Become Better But I Didn't Allow It To Happen Because I Just Wouldn't Seem To Forget Some Hurtful Thinqs....It Was Hard To.You Know?....I Wish We Both Would've Appreciated Each Other More.....Maybe One Day Everything Will Be Okay.... As Much As I Would Like To Take Words Back....I Can't.... Everything Does Happen For A Reason...I Say... There's A Sweet And Mean Side Inside Everyone.....What Can I Do??....... I Want Things To Be Back To Normal With These People....But Sometimes Things Might Never Be The Same Ever Again...Who Knows?? It Can Happen... There's Always Hope Somethinq I Never Lost.......Just Wanted To Say That.... But When Will It Be Okay For Me To Say Something??? Will It Ever??? Hopefully.
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Sunday, September 10, 2006

Life Sucks

Posted in by Rafaelina Siri | Edit

This Is The First Time That I Don't Post Up A Poem On One Of Blogs..This Is What I'm Feeling Right At This Moment && It Fucking Sucks. :(

I Feel So Out Of Place In This World...I Feel So Alone Sometimes It's Like What Do I Do?? I'm Afraid Of Endinq Up Alone And Miserable Like The Underground Man. Nothing Is Going My Way...I Really Feel Like Giving Up On Life And Be A Bum Or Something...But I Know That Ain't The Right Thing For Me...I Cry And Cry Myself To Sleep Feeling Like A Worthless Piece Of Shit....I Have No Motivation...No Positiveness From Anyone...I Feel Like I Have No Control Like If I Lost My Control Over Life....I Gotta Stay Up!! I Gotta Make It! I'm Not The Type To Give Up Easily On Things That I Desire For And Care For...But Damn It Can Be Hard...There Are All These Obstacles That I Feel Are Stopping Me From Acheiving My Goals My Wants My Desires...Ugh!!! I Know Everything Happens For A Reason....I Cry!! Like The Human That I Am.....I Look Back At My Life I Stop And Think Like Damnn Why Didn't These People Stay In My Life?? Like My Grandparents And A Couple Of Old Friends.....I Was Full Of Happiness With Them..Especially My Old Folks..They Stood By Me Through Thick And Thin No Matter What Stupidities I Committed....Why?? Because They Loved Me And They Showed It To Me Each And Everyday....I Miss Them So Much!! **A Literal Tear That I'm Crying Right Now.** I Was Stronger Then Than Now......Why Do Things Happen That I Don't Like?? What Did I Do To Deserve Evil Things From People??....I Feel Like Nobody Gives A Fuck About Me....My Feelings Are Blahhhh To Them.....I Hope To Find My Happiness Again Because I'm Not Happy Where I'm At This Point.....I Hate My Life! And I Hate Talking About It...But I'm Doing So Anyway.....I'm Not Perfect Things Happen To Me All The Time....&& I Can't Take It Anymore...The World Is All Types Of Fucked Up....I Wish I Didn't Exist Sometimes To Save All The Pain From Happening.....But I'm Here For A Reason(s) That's Why I'm Still Alive...To Make Something Out Of Myself And I'm Gonna Try With All Of Me To Change My Life To Where I Wanna Be.......Even If Nobody Understands. I Looked Up The Word "Love" To See What It Means And This Is What I Found: love. –noun  ..1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.  ..2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.  ..3. sexual passion or desire.  ..4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.  ..5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?  ..6. a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.  ..7. sexual intercourse; copulation.  ..8. (initial capital letter) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.  ..9. affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.  ..10. strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.  ..11. the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.  ..12. the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.  ..13. Chiefly Tennis. a score of zero; nothing.  ..14. a word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L.  –verb (used with object)  ..15. to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.  ..16. to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).  ..17. to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music.  ..18. to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight.  ..19. to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover.  ..20. to have sexual intercourse with.  ..21. to have love or affection for another person; be in love. 
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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Nostalgia

Posted in , , , , , , , , , by Rafaelina Siri | Edit
08.09.06 "I Began Rhyminq This Poem In My Mind.I Had To Write It Down Because I Liked It..It's Cool...I Always Loved Writinq It Has Always Been In Me..But This Poem Doesn't Apply To Me...Thnx." Nostalgia I'm Longing For Something That Was So Long Ago. It's So Far Away From What I Know. I'm Feeling This Emotion That Sturs So Much Pain. What Should I Do? I Feel So Derranged. My Heart Is My Guide I'm Listening To It I Hope It Finds My True Other Significant. Times Goes By Day By Day Some Things Change And Some Remain. Nostlagia Is What I'm Feeling What Can I Do? This Is What I'm Seeing As I'm Dreaming Of You.
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