Entries Of A Mind: Welcome To My Home: 2006

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

The Bridgemaker

Posted in by Rafaelina Siri | Edit

"Writing,This Is What Came Out....Feel Free To Read....Thanks. <3 ~Lina. The Bridge Maker When I'm lost Somewhere in my thoughts, Deep within my lonliness, Or deep within confusion, You take my hand Draw me forth, And cast away illusion. You gather the pieces of this heart And mend them back together. You bring me joy, And disperse my fears, But, now it's my turn, to dry your tears. So let me build the bridges Across the valleys to come, Then let me help you cross them, And continue when we're done. I want to be the bridgemaker The one who's always there, The one that always lifts you up, The one you know will care.

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006

I'm Thankful....

Posted in by Rafaelina Siri | Edit

Tomorrow Is Thanksgiving As We Know It....I'm Going To Eat Eat && Eat Some More.....It's Nothing New For Me. I'm Thankful For Lots Of Things.... I'm Sooo Happy To Be Alive ..Thanks To God!!! As I Type This...I Hope I Live Many Many Yearsss To Come.......So Appreciative Of That.... I'm Thankful For My Twin Sister Julianna: Words Cannot Describe How I Much I Love Her More Than She Will Ever Know.....We Have An Unexplainable Bond......She Keeps Me Sane!! I Think I Would've Been Lost Without Her..Seriously!! She Motivates Me So Much....She Gives Me Strength....To Be Honest If It Weren't For Her I Think I Would've Been Dead!! I'm Thankful For My Family As Well.....I Hate Them Sometimes But They Will Always Be Related To Me!! They Are Always There For Me...I'm Glad To Have My Parents Mercedes && Rafael Alive.Well && Married To Love && Support Me As Their Daughter...Thanks For Putting Food On The Table Thanks For Dealing With All My Bullshitt And Supporting Me!!!!! Thanks For All The Christmas Presents && All The Conversations And Advice You Both Have Given Me..Thanks For Being My Parents!! I'm Thankful For My Brother Julio I Have To Thank Him For Many Things For Everything For The Way Our Family's Life Is....For The People I Now Know && Love So Much!! I'm Thankful For My Aunts Cecilia && Nena-----They Keep Me Entertained I Feel Like Shooting Them At Times But They Are So Great!!! They Love And Care About Me Even If When They Don't Show It...Thanks To My Family!!!!! I'm Thankful For My Grandparents Tomasina && Julio........May You Rest In Peace Both....I Haven't Forgotten About You Guys At All Not One Bit!! You Are What I Call .. TRUE LOVE 'TILL DEATH DO US PART.. ..I Loveeeeeeee Youuuu Both Forever && Ever Until God Takes Me To Be With You Once Again!! I Wish You Guys Were Here So I Can Hug You Both && Say How Muchhh I Loveeeee Youuuuu Until I'm Outt Of Breath...So I Can Kiss Your Faces And Hug You Until I Can't Anymore!! So You Guys Can Remind Me Of How Beautiful I Am Everyday When I Feel Sad Or Down Or Unpretty. So You Guys Can Tuck Me Into Bed && Take Me Out To The Park For Ice-Cream....Words Can't Really Explain At All How Much I Feel For You Both!!! May God Rest Your Souls....May You Both Be Happy Loving Each Other In Heaven.....I Hope You Guys Haven't Forgotten About Your Granddaughter.....I Hope You Guys Love Me As Much As I Love You........I Know You're Watching Over Me!! Muahzzzzzzzzzzz Forever!!! THANKS TO CAMERAS.WATER.FRIDGES.TOILETS.FOOD.PERFUMES.LOVE.INTERNET.MYSPACE-EVERYTHING!!!! I'm Thankful For My Friends!! I Have So Many Individual Shoutouts To The People Below And More....Too Much To Say!!! Imani.Sheila.Adolfo.Sammy.Sasha.Miguel.Cain.Ramoncito.Steph.GiGi.JGil.Niurka.Julia.....Everyone!! ::Adolfo:: I'm Glad You're My Bestestt Guy Friend....Who Would've Thought We Were Going To Become What We Are Now....Thanks For Always Keeping A Smile On My Face Whenever I Felt Crappy....Thanks For All The Corny Funny Lmao Conversations....All The Pictures...All Fights All The Wrestling All The Shut The Fuck Ups Lols Thanks For Letting Me Blow-Dry Your Hair!! You're The Greatest!!!!!Thanks For The Advice && The Many Many Conversations!! I Loveeee You Man!~! Thanks For Caring About Me..I'm Glad To Have Met You. ::Sammy:: You're A Great Person....I Hated Your Guts Before But Who Would've Thought We Were Going To Become Cool..You Are What I Call A Beautiful Person...I Really Care About You....If Only You Can See The Inside It Will Be So Much Easier Amor.I'm Glad To Know You That You Exist....Thank You So Much For Giving Me Hope For Giving Me Faith For Giving Me Motivation For Giving Me That Sense Of Paradise...Thanks For Making Me Feel Like A Million Bucks For Making Me Smile When I Didn't Want To....Thanks For Saying That I'm Beautiful..Thanks For Being My Friend As Well As My Amor....Thanks For All The Laughs And Jokes....Thank You For The Hugs!!! But Most Importantly Thanks For Loving Me! You Make Me Feel Like The Best In The World At Times...Sorry For The Bad Things I've Ever Made You Feel....YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO ME! Muahzzzz God Bless You Always. && To Everyone Else.. HAPPPPYYYYY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!

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Sunday, November 5, 2006

Thoughtful Thinking...

Posted in by Rafaelina Siri | Edit

I Am In A Great Mood To Write Something In My Blog.I'm Here Sitting On My Computer Eating Some Cookies With Milk Just Thinking About Some Things.. I've Been Thinking About How Life Functions && How Hectic And Chaotic It Is To Live It... ::It's Frustrating:: But I Have To Life It Until The Days Of My Life Are Over For Good...It's Like Wow I Can Diminish Die And Disappear Any Minute Any Day Just Like That....You Know?? It's Something Some People Choose Not To Think About,But You Have To... We're Humans And We Sure As Hell Can't Last Forever Even Though I'll Love To But Think About Living Forever And Ever.....There Would Be No Point Of Living. You Will Be Filled With Boredom And There Wouldn't Be A Purpose...That's Why The World Is The Way It Is....That's Why There's Good And Evil..Ironically Evil Influences Good You're Probably Like Nooo They're The Total Opposite! Let's Start Off With MISTAKES!! People Make Mistakes It's A Great Part Of Life Because They Convert You Into More Of A Perfectionist Person...Almost Perfect...They Make You Better More Wise More Intellectual....All That. Life Has Its Ups And Downs.....Happy Moments And Sad Moments.....It's All Part Of The Plan...Some Things In Life Have To Be Let Go Of Especially The Certain Things That Hurt You Because The Only Person You're Hurting Is Yourself....You Will Not Reach The Maximum Happiness...You Have To Believe In Yourself With This Enormous Confidence And Optimism And Head Up High.....Think Of Hurtful Things As A Strengthner Or Energizer........Life Is Too Short!! Don't Let People Stomp On You And Make You Feel Below Them......Confidence And Independence Is Great!.....Depends On How You Use It. Love Is A Great Great Part Of Life.....It Makes You Feel Heavenly Very Celestial Like A Peaceful Kind Of Feeling As If Life Had No Problems And Everything Is Super Easy...I Believe That's The Only Glimpse Of Heaven We Will Ever Receive And Have A Peak Of....Even Though Love Can Be Painful And Hurtful It's A Risk You Have To Take.......Let Yourself Be Loved And Let Go Of Things In The Past Because They Will Make You Better And More Joyful Later On..... Be Yourself At All Times...Don't Try So Hard To Be Someone You're Not Just To Please Everyone Else......You're Going To Be So Unhappy! It May Sound Selfish But It's Really Not....Think About It. ::Remember Life Seems Complicated But Is Really Simple:: Everything Happens For A Reason!! There Are Reasons Why Life Is Life..God Has Put You Here On Earth For Specific Reasons...He Basically Planned You And I'm Not Leaving Until I've Done My Duty.....I Don't Want To Leave The People I Love And Care About...It's A Scary Thought To Think Of. It's Like What's Heaven Going To Be Like?? Is Everything Going To Be Like I've Grown Up To Know?? There's Nothing I Can Do But To Live And Live And Live.... Live For The Moment!! Follow Your Heart..Make Mistakes..Drama...Evil...Hatred...Jealousy...Pain...Love... We're Programmed To Feel And Do All These Things That Seem Awful But When You Really Think About They're Not.... ........Things Are Easily Felt If Only They Were Much More Simpler To Say......You Feel All These Thousands And Thousands Of Words Inside && It's Frustrating When You Aren't Understood...It's Like If Only People Can See The Inside.... ::Adios I Wanted To State This & Now I'm Satisified:: ~Rafaelina.

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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Everytime

Posted in by Rafaelina Siri | Edit

.:Everytime:. Something I Wrote In My Journal Last Week......Enjoy!! Everytime I See You, I Can't Help But Feel Inside, The Pleasure Of Beinq With You And Not Havinq To Decide. My Lips Can't Help But Smile As I Have You Here By My Side. Sometimes When I Don't See You, My Eyes Seem To Cry. My Body Yearns For Yours It Makes Me Feel Protected Sort Of Like A Ride, I Wanna Feel Safe As You Kiss Me All The Time. We'll Become Better People, We Will Love and Grow. You Feel The Same Way I Do I Know Because You Let It Show. Everytime We See One Another, We Both Let It Glow, Really Beautiful, Nice And Slow. ~Miss Crazy Beautiful~

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Lack Of Appreciation

Posted in by Rafaelina Siri | Edit

I Decided To Say This.... It's Been Disturbinq Me.... It's Better To Say It Then Nothinq At All...Right?? First Of All...I'm Not Perfect..... I Have Said And Done Some Harshful Thinqs To One Friend That I Love And Care About Still....And Now What Do I Have?...Nothinq....Their Friendship Is Out The Door. I Know It Seems That I Have Come Across As Shallow And Immature And Confused And Whatnot...But I'm Really Not.... I Admit My Mistakes And Wronqdoinqs Because It's The Right Thinq To Do Always.....I'm Still The Same Sweet Person But I Don't Think They See That....Hey I Can't Blame Them....I'm Not An Asshole I Swear I'm Not...What A Great Friend This Person Was...Always There For Me And I Blew It.... I Say Mean Thinqs Out Of Pure Anger.....I Feel Like A Monster For All That I Said And Done..... This Person Sad Some Horrible Things To Me Like Wowwww I Can't Believe This Is Cominq Out Of Their Mouth Even Though I Was Wrong They Should've Never Said That....Two Wronqs Don't Make A Right. I Am Determined Tho To Get Their Forgiveness One Day But I Also Know That Forgiving Is A Very Difficult Thing To Do....Since It Involves Feelings And I Really Did Hurt This Person's Feelinqs....This Has Been On My Mind For A Very Long Time Now.People Make Mistakes People Can Change For The Better And Really Learn From Them Seriously.... I Know I Have Learned. And This One Other Person That Was Great.. That I've Been Through Crap And Drama With....But When I Think About It....It Should've Never Went The Way It Did....Words And Actions Were Thrown Back And Forth Which Of Course Didn't Make The Situation Any Better At All Whatsoever...The Thinqs They Did Were Misunderstood By Me And The Things I Did Were Misunderstood To Them....All I Have Are Good Times Recorded In My Mind And The Bad Too But Those Things I've Let Go Of Already....I Would've Loved For Everythinq To Become Better But I Didn't Allow It To Happen Because I Just Wouldn't Seem To Forget Some Hurtful Thinqs....It Was Hard To.You Know?....I Wish We Both Would've Appreciated Each Other More.....Maybe One Day Everything Will Be Okay.... As Much As I Would Like To Take Words Back....I Can't.... Everything Does Happen For A Reason...I Say... There's A Sweet And Mean Side Inside Everyone.....What Can I Do??....... I Want Things To Be Back To Normal With These People....But Sometimes Things Might Never Be The Same Ever Again...Who Knows?? It Can Happen... There's Always Hope Somethinq I Never Lost.......Just Wanted To Say That.... But When Will It Be Okay For Me To Say Something??? Will It Ever??? Hopefully.

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Sunday, September 10, 2006

Life Sucks

Posted in by Rafaelina Siri | Edit

This Is The First Time That I Don't Post Up A Poem On One Of Blogs..This Is What I'm Feeling Right At This Moment && It Fucking Sucks. :(

I Feel So Out Of Place In This World...I Feel So Alone Sometimes It's Like What Do I Do?? I'm Afraid Of Endinq Up Alone And Miserable Like The Underground Man. Nothing Is Going My Way...I Really Feel Like Giving Up On Life And Be A Bum Or Something...But I Know That Ain't The Right Thing For Me...I Cry And Cry Myself To Sleep Feeling Like A Worthless Piece Of Shit....I Have No Motivation...No Positiveness From Anyone...I Feel Like I Have No Control Like If I Lost My Control Over Life....I Gotta Stay Up!! I Gotta Make It! I'm Not The Type To Give Up Easily On Things That I Desire For And Care For...But Damn It Can Be Hard...There Are All These Obstacles That I Feel Are Stopping Me From Acheiving My Goals My Wants My Desires...Ugh!!! I Know Everything Happens For A Reason....I Cry!! Like The Human That I Am.....I Look Back At My Life I Stop And Think Like Damnn Why Didn't These People Stay In My Life?? Like My Grandparents And A Couple Of Old Friends.....I Was Full Of Happiness With Them..Especially My Old Folks..They Stood By Me Through Thick And Thin No Matter What Stupidities I Committed....Why?? Because They Loved Me And They Showed It To Me Each And Everyday....I Miss Them So Much!! **A Literal Tear That I'm Crying Right Now.** I Was Stronger Then Than Now......Why Do Things Happen That I Don't Like?? What Did I Do To Deserve Evil Things From People??....I Feel Like Nobody Gives A Fuck About Me....My Feelings Are Blahhhh To Them.....I Hope To Find My Happiness Again Because I'm Not Happy Where I'm At This Point.....I Hate My Life! And I Hate Talking About It...But I'm Doing So Anyway.....I'm Not Perfect Things Happen To Me All The Time....&& I Can't Take It Anymore...The World Is All Types Of Fucked Up....I Wish I Didn't Exist Sometimes To Save All The Pain From Happening.....But I'm Here For A Reason(s) That's Why I'm Still Alive...To Make Something Out Of Myself And I'm Gonna Try With All Of Me To Change My Life To Where I Wanna Be.......Even If Nobody Understands. I Looked Up The Word "Love" To See What It Means And This Is What I Found: love. –noun ..1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. ..2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. ..3. sexual passion or desire. ..4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart. ..5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love? ..6. a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour. ..7. sexual intercourse; copulation. ..8. (initial capital letter) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid. ..9. affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor. ..10. strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books. ..11. the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love. ..12. the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God. ..13. Chiefly Tennis. a score of zero; nothing. ..14. a word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L. –verb (used with object) ..15. to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her. ..16. to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person). ..17. to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music. ..18. to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight. ..19. to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover. ..20. to have sexual intercourse with. ..21. to have love or affection for another person; be in love.

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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Nostalgia

Posted in dreaming, love, melancholy, nostalgia, pain, remembering, reminiscing, the past, time, true love by Rafaelina Siri | Edit

08.09.06 "I Began Rhyminq This Poem In My Mind.I Had To Write It Down Because I Liked It..It's Cool...I Always Loved Writinq It Has Always Been In Me..But This Poem Doesn't Apply To Me...Thnx." Nostalgia I'm Longing For Something That Was So Long Ago. It's So Far Away From What I Know. I'm Feeling This Emotion That Sturs So Much Pain. What Should I Do? I Feel So Derranged. My Heart Is My Guide I'm Listening To It I Hope It Finds My True Other Significant. Times Goes By Day By Day Some Things Change And Some Remain. Nostlagia Is What I'm Feeling What Can I Do? This Is What I'm Seeing As I'm Dreaming Of You.

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Tuesday, August 1, 2006

Never A Moment With You I'll Regret

Posted in by Rafaelina Siri | Edit

"And Another Cool Old One It's Nice :)"~Lina Never A Moment With You I'll Regret For the one who holds my heart Who brings it great joy then tears it apart Who can turn my face from a frown to a smile And turn it around with his smooth, suave style. If it's better to love then to not love at all I choose not to love cuz for you I did fall An emotional ride that brings so much pain Tears mixed with fire,thunder and rain I stand here alone as I watch you leave And I know for a moment for you I will grieve. Sure they'll be others and me you'll forget But never a moment with you I'll regret.

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Wednesday, July 5, 2006

Thoughts Of The Night

Posted in by Rafaelina Siri | Edit

"I Feel Like Shít I'm So Sick Right Now With Them Chest Pains I'm Having From My Asthma.It's Bad And It Sucks.So I'm Here Chillinq In My Room Watchinq Tv Relaxing Recommendations From The Doctor...I Need Another Vacation..lolz" Thoughts Of The Night Lay Here Beside Me, Love And Bless Me With Your Closeness. Tell Me About All Your Hopes And Dreams. Shower Me With Your Fantasies. Embrace Me With Your Passion. Let Me Hear Your Whispers Of Love Felt So Deeply. Let Me Hear Your Heart Beating. Let Me Be The Sky That Awaits Your Presence. Let Me Be The Stars That Brighten Your Nights. Let Me Be The Clouds That Are So Breathless. Let Me Be The Wind That Brings You Harmony From Within. Let Me Lay Here Beside You Always. Let Me Be The Comfort That You Need. Kissing You Softly As You Do The Same To Me. Holding You Here In My Arms As We Think About Life's Many Complexities. Feeling The Warmth Of Your Feathered Soft Skin. Let Me Live In Your Heart And Die In Your Eyes, As You Let Me Love You. These Are My Thoughts Of The Night.

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Thursday, June 29, 2006

The Initiation Of A New Chapter

Posted in life by Rafaelina Siri | Edit

"A New Life Is Coming Ughhh What A Weird Feeling I Don't Wanna Let Go." ~Lina~ The Initiation Of A New Chapter

Should I Call This A New Life? Life Changes Sometimes For The Better. There Are Some Things In Your Old Chapter You Can't Let Go Of. They Are Still There. So What Do You Do? Who Am I Kidding? You Can't Really Do Much. There Are Situations In Life That Influence Your Character. That Are Always Going To Be There. Anytime. All The Time. Always. Shouldn't I Be Happy That My Life Is Transforming? I Know I Should Right? But I'm Kinda Not. I Haven't Handled Some Things, But I Gotta Keep On Moving. I Hope Good Things Come My Way And I Know They Are. I Hope To Be A Bit Happier And Meet A Couple Of People Here And There. Explore What's Out There The Unknown To Me. Meet Someone Who Loves Me With All Their Heart, Body,And Soul. Who Appreciates Me And All My Imperfections. Someone Who Will Be There, A Shoulder To Lean On. Life Is Hectic. Sometimes You Just Feel Like Hiding From Everyone And Everything By Going Into Your Own Little World Without Disruptions And Interruptions. I Wish I Won't Have To Confront It And Run Away From It All. Life Is Something To Think About By Just Looking At What Point You Are At Right Now. Is It Good Or Bad? Do You Really Want To Be There? Are You Happy? That's The Question. There's A Lot To Think About A Lot For Me To Think About. I Have To Decide What's Good For Me The Pros And Cons And Where I Should And Want To Be. Time Is Running Out. A New Life Is Coming For Me. It's Sad I Won't Get To See The Same People I See Everyday Anymore. It Won't Be The Same. I Have To Be Strong And Try To Smile. I Can Handle It. I Have To Look Towards The Bright Side. This Is Called The Initiation Of A New Chapter. ~Thanks~

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Friday, June 2, 2006

No More You

Posted in by Rafaelina Siri | Edit

"Just Writing Like I Always Do...Enjoy This Is Real." ~Lina The Tall Beautiful Big Lipped Chick~ No More You There is no more you. There is no more you for me to love, for me to hug,for me to kiss, but most of all for me to talk and share. There are no more great adventures. No More You And I. We were great together,almost made for each other. Loveable Full of Life. Motivation much inspiration. There is no more you to love me, Cherish me to tell me how gorgeous and beautiful I am everyday. To love me with this great desire and need. To hug me as if to feel so protected. To kiss me with this energy and wonderful passion, That rushes this unexplainable feeling and emotion into my being. I felt so complete with you. You were my life. You made me feel like I was floating in the air with no gravity, like an unreality, our own crazy world. Thanks for everything. Thanks for making me who I am today And the new perspective I have towards life. Thanks for all those conversations we had about everything and stating our opinions whether we agreed or not. Thanks for all them laughs. Thanks for all them tears. Thanks for introducing me to the real you. It was my pleasure of introducing myself to you. Thanks for giving me your love, for loving me the way you did, for making me feel like I was the one, the only one in this world. For allowing me to love you. Thanks for being my lover as well as my friend. I appreciate what we were and had. It's a memory I will never forget. Our memory is great. I love your memory because it makes me smile and reflect. I'll just keep on smiling. I love you and it's something that will always be. Unfortunately I can't love you the way it's suppose to be. Because There is No More You.

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Friday, May 5, 2006

Honest Closure

Posted in by Rafaelina Siri | Edit

"This came from in me..it's true..I always speak it." Written on Wednesday,April 26,2006 @ 1:49am. ~lina~ Honest Closure I can honestly say this chapter is done. My Honest Closure. I'm not feeling like there's more to our story,to our book. I feel relieved and somewhat happy. There's nothing to fear, there's nothing there,it's not fair. But who said life was fair? I can move on,pass us, all of this without a problem. It's sad to feel this way and say it because this someone was an important part of my life. But that's just the way it is. Things change. Things transform. Things fade,no more. I can honestly be happy now and grow from this. I do love and miss him, but now it's in a friendly way. It's always good to be friends with someone you cared about and loved. It's healthy. It may feel weird, but it's okay. Sadly,life goes on and things didn't work out. I hope he has a good life and it turns out to be okay. I miss him anyway. All I got is souvenirs in my mind, it gets you stuck in a moment, that wasn't meant to last. It all went by so fast, but It felt like years, mad vast. See ya special friend. You were meant to last, but in my heart and soul. This chapter is closed. This is my honest closure.

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Natural Suave

Posted in by Rafaelina Siri | Edit

"When I wrote this I was truly feeling this way and I don't know why...it was just there..and so I began to write what I felt at the time.I felt so much sadness and melancholy....I couldn't do anything but write about it" Orignally written on Saturday,April 1,2006 .!~~True Story~! ~Lina~ Natural Suave What is this sudden darkness? Where is it coming from? Why is it here? I feel so awfully drained that it's emotionally hurting me. My feelings manually hide, but they naturally show. They're guilty,full of love. It knows,it glows. Who are you Oh Boy? And what are you doing to my soul? Why do I love you? Do you love me for sure? I don't even know,it's weird. It's hard to talk to you, but it's cool I know. There's only hope,it's my friend. Hope is the one that's going to change that. I'm just going to let you go, maybe it's the best thing to do. But I know I'll never stop loving you. Always~ It's My Natural Suave.

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Imperalizing My Mind

Posted in emotions, feelings, forever, Goodbyes, love, mind, real love by Rafaelina Siri | Edit

This was written a while ago and I've been too busy and too lazy to post it up..lol......But I'm Doing So now~!...Enjoy! This was originally written on Saturday,April 1,2006 Imperializing My Mind Your love is imperializing my being. What are you doing to my soul,oh boy? I love you very much. I'm always thinking of you,I can't help it. You picked me up when I was down. We were like two persond molded into one. It's great,it was great,and it will always be great. I can't help feeling blue when I see you, I shake,I tremble when I hear your voice. It's just there and it's still strong. I'm loving you from far away. I can't stand to see someone else loving you, but I'm juts dealing with it. Love isn't a game,it's real. Love shouldn't be given up so easily. It should be faught for because it's an amazing feeling,an unexplainable one. But who are you? I don't even know who you are anymore. What do you feel? What are your feelings? Do you still love me? Was our love true? Is it still there? Did it fade? Save me the pain please,I'd rather not know, It'll give me so much more. I will always remember you. You produce tears in my eyes and it's just part of love. Bye Bye My Sweet Sweet Love. Your love will always be a piece of me. It makes me,me. I Love You, Now Always And Forever! I'm letting go now. I really don't want to, but I have to. Your love will always, will never stop Imperializing My Mind.

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Strengthening Memoirs

Posted in life, love, moving on, strength, the future by Rafaelina Siri | Edit

"This poem was written on Wednesday,May 3rd,2006 outside of my school and then I finished it at home...lol...Yea..so read and enjoy." ~lina~ Strengthening Memoirs This movie that replays itself in my mind over and over again. These Strengthening Memoirs. They're like souvenirs,a present for my mind and life. To remember forever in my lifetime til death comes for me. These memories make me they've made me. They represent myself now. I feel somewhat brand new Life goes on. Life is adventurous, so great, so wonderful, so prodigious. I can't and I won't spent anymore days thinking about these memoirs. Ironically, they're killing me, but they made me. My happiness will arrive. I know it will. It's suppose to help me survive and be so very alive. Unfortunately, I cannot erase these thoughts and be alright. People always appreciate the most precious thing around them too late. When they're truly gone. That is when they're going to appreciate and realize what good they had. I'm worth a lot I believe. And for me to have felt so shitty and so unpretty I couldn't live. But I picked myself up again. So much stress, So depressed. These Strengthening Memoirs cause me to really think. Sometimes I get sensitive and sometimes they motivate. It's all part of the system. Don't love me, I don't love you. I will always keep these memoirs. Strengthening Memoirs.

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Wednesday, March 1, 2006

Emotionally Drained

Posted in emotions by Rafaelina Siri | Edit

THIS WAS WRITTEN TODAY MARCH 1,2006..I WAS JUST WRITING THINGS DOWN IN MY BINDER AND THIS CAME OUT AND I DECIDED TO POST IT UP BECAUSE I THINK IT'S A GOOD PIECE OF WRITING...IT CAME FROM WITHIN ME BECAUSE MOST FOLKS COULD RELATE.... :) ENJOY!!! Emotionally Drained Why Do I Feel Emotionally Drained? I Feel Such A Great Pain. I Don't Know What To Do About It, I'm So Confused That I Don't Know What To Feel Anymore. What Am I Suppose To Feel? It's Sometimes Hard Because The Mind Fools. My Heart Literally Feels This Pain, Like A Screw Drilling Right Into It. It Also Feels Like A Needle Pierced My Heart Like A Fúcking Earring. It Really Hurts. It Produces So Much Sadness And I Know Why. I Hide All My Imperfections, But Why Do That Cuz I Ain't Perfect At All. What The Fúck Is Perfect Anyway? The Mind Cannot Manipulate The Heart. I Wish I Can Control This Heart Of Mine, Like A Switch That I Can Turn Off. I Wish I Can Act Like This Pain Is Invisible And It Isn't Felt, But I Can't. It's Sometimes Hard To Hide, But It Naturally Shows. It's Unstoppable. But Why Life Has To Be This Way? Why Love Has To Be The Way It Is? Everything? Everything That Happens, Happens For A Reason I Say. But There's Also A Reason Why I'm Feeling Vast Pain. The Heart Is Stronger Than You. You Can't Tell It What To Do, Who To Love And Not To Love. Love Is Pain,Pain Is Love Like Jarule Said. But This Is What I'm Saying, Why Do I Love? It's Not A Forgery,It's So Real. Then Again It's Better To Be Loved And Love Than To Not Be In Love At All. Love Brings So Much Happiness And Joy, But It Was Sucked Right Out Of Me Like If I Was A Toy. Why Do These Tears Burn? Why Something Inside Of You Cannot Be Controlled? I Guess It's Suppose To Teach You A Lesson Because It's Life. And Life Is Just Life, Inevitable. That's Why I'm So Emotionally Drained.

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Sunday, February 19, 2006

Promises

Posted in Goodbyes by Rafaelina Siri | Edit

When Two People First Start Out They Say A Lot Of Things And Make A Lot Of Promises To Each Other. But Somewhere Down The Line The Sweet Things They Once Said Become Bitter Words And The Promises They Swore In Their Hearts They Would Keep Forever Are Broken. After A While You Learn The Difference Between Holding Hands And Falling In Love. You Begin To Learn That Kisses Dont Always Mean Something Promises Can Be Broken As Soon As They Were Made And Sometimes Even Though You Dont Want It To Be Goodbyes Can Be Forever!! Sometimes All You Can Do Is Smile And Move On With Your Day Holding Your Tears Back Pretending You're Okay.

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Love

Posted in life, love, pain, wonder by Rafaelina Siri | Edit

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying something and wishing you hadn't or saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest to say. Don't be afraid tho tell someone you love them. If you do they might break your heart... but if you don't,you might break theirs. Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that person was to afraid to let you? Too many of us stay walled up because we are to afraid to care too much... for fear that the other person does not care as much, or at all. Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid...afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But everytime we tell a lie... the thing we fear grows stronger. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have, or could have had. No one waits forever... What would you do... 'What would you do if everytime you wanted someone they would never be there? 'What would you do if you best friend died tomorrow and you never got the chance to tell them how you felt? 'What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them? 'What would you do if everytime you fell in love you had to say good-bye? When you love someone say it. Say it loud. Say it right away, or the moment just passes you by and you may never get the chance again. People live, but people die.

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Sunday, February 5, 2006

The Passion That Used To Be

Posted in passion, past love, writing by Rafaelina Siri | Edit

August 22,2005----This Came From My Heart.It Was An Immense Feeling Of Pain And Deep Sorrow I Had In Me At That Time.I Was Very Depressed And It Was Very Sad For Me.This Made Me Stronger And Somewhat The Person I Am Today.Everything Happens For A Reason And I Have No Regrets. 04-01-05 The Passion I want what me and him had before. All these beautiful memories run in my head every single day, but I guess that's all it is:memories.That probably won't come back any more forever.And just thinking of those possibilities are heartbreaking because that means I won't be able to kiss and touch those sensual beautiful lips of his that make me tingle all over.The passion,the intensity is beautiful and breathtaking.I feel protected when I'm in his arms and it's great. I love him regardless of what happens and he'll always be a part of me forever and he'll always have a place in my heart. Sometimes I cry because I can't deny the fact that he's always in my thoughts everywhere I go or everything I do, he's always there.It's possible to have what I had with him back,but it won't be the same ever again,but it's worth a try.I really don't want any regrets that's why I'm not giving up cuz it's something that I want and I'm just following what's in my heart.I never would've thought in a million years that things were going to end like they did with me and him. ~~Rafaelina aka Rasberry Sparkletini Loves You!~~

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It's So Hard: A Dedication

Posted in break-ups, Endings, new beginnings by Rafaelina Siri | Edit

This Used To Be Something That I Sincerely Used To Feel Before For Someone That Was Oh So Special And I Decided To Post It Up Cuz It's Nice, So Read And Enjoy! It's So Hard It's so hard to say "I Love You" and not draw back in tears, It's so hard to know that you're not there to help me face my fears. It's so hard to know the phone's at reach,but I cannot hear your voice, It's so hard to know that this time breaking up was not my choice. It's so hard to see you laughing when I'm crying deep inside, It's so hard to just find feelings and now have to make them hide. It's so hard to live without you,when I need you more than words, To want to scream how much I Love You but hold hold back and not be heard. It's so hard to go to sleep at night when I cannot dream of you, It's so hard to think that you might fall in love with someone new. It's so hard to not start crying when I hear your favorite song, It's so hard to sit and wonder ,where did we go wrong? It's so hard to live without you,if I only would have known. I will never love another, I would rather be alone. Whenever you break up with someone,there is always a period when it is very different and painful.It's called a grieving period,just like when someone dies because something has died:your relationship.The fact that I'm so sad and having a difficult time tells me I'm a caring person who was able to have a real loving relationship with someone and this always a good thing. Thank You!! ~~Rasberry Sparkletini~~

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