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Showing posts with label peace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label peace. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
The Feeling of Vexation
Annoyance, vexation, bothered: I hate this feeling. It's one of the worse feelings I have to experienced. Feeling bothered, feeling annoyed, having that "Leave me alone, I don't care" feeling makes me want to get away from everyone and have that sense of peace and quiet. It's just one of those days when you want to be alone and not talk to anyone. Just breathing. . .
Thursday, May 7, 2009
I Wish....
I'm sitting here on my computer, I haven't written on my blog for a while now. I always write, it is something i LOVE with all my heart! I wish life were less complicated right now, things aren't looking quite well as I would expect it to be. I am currently out of a J-O-B like millions of other people dealing with these tough times in this recession. I don't know how this government expects people to make ends meet, it's tough out there. I can't be at home as much as I would like, on top of that traveling back and forth between New York and New Jersey can be unbearable and it drives me nuts, really. In life, you have to make sacrifices in order to progress and my sacrifice is not being at home in my own room, in my own space with my parents. There is not place like home! I wish I was more at peace with life, I'm happy with some aspects of my life like having my great family, my close few friends, and my amazing boyfriend: they really make life worthwhile and easier to cope with. Don't get me wrong, life is beautiful and I love it, no one said it was going to be easy, it comes to show how determined and how strong and motivated you are to reach your utmost abilities and conquer your dreams and where you wanna be by the time I'm 25. But one thing I never lose, no matter how frustrating and arghh things get, is HOPE and FAITH. I truly do believe in God and I know that he is gonna give me a break some day soon. I'm going to be a successful model actress and writer. I love the arts, it is so amazingggg, nothing but love! Like emotionally, I don't and haven't been feeling well. I feel lousy and low like I am not worthy of anything. I wish my life would be 1000 times better in terms of career and residence situation, but I am sorta of content with what I have and I have to appreciate that because there are so many people out there who have worst than me and have nothing. I have an AMAZING boyfriend named Anthony. He really is a great person, I see myself in him in so many ways and his sparkly eyes have a wonderful story to tellm they say so much. I see myself being with him for the rest of my life. He is truly my gift from GOD. There aren't words to explain how he makes me feel, how I feel about him, as cliche as it sounds. He makes everything more alleviating!! On a brighter note,
I worked out today, I'm maintaining my shape and eating well. I should be signed to a major modeling agency in the city pretty soon (I hope so). My parents arranged a family meeting for this Friday, I've been invited to so many places for Saturday, and Mother's Day is on Sunday, AHHHHHHHHHH! I'm gonna go insane, being on a budget is not easy at all and on top of the fact that I paid for my frigging' phone bill. (i love my BLACKBERRY tho!) i don't know what I'm gonna do, but hey I got 2 interviews and I had a photo shoot, kudos for me! :) I am writing a love letter to my gorgeous other half, it relaxes and soothes my soul! LORD, thank you for sending him to me! And thank you for having me here on Earth, you have given me great people to coexist with! i love them all! I'm listening to soft, serene music... I hope I get well soon....Goodnight world.
~Rafaelina
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